thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
