So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
