I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
