so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
you never un-have a 4some
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
