So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
