She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
