Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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