his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
