my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
