Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
