His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
