everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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