I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
