he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
