I'm really into asian looking animals
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
