How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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