Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
