she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
