I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Define "chronic" masturbator.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
