just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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