let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Randomize
