another moral hangover. fuck.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
