Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
