i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
