Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
