Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
