How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
