Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
