dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
