I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
