I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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