just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Randomize
