Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
