Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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