i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize