i don't like sucking hair
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
