I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
