This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
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