They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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