hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
