Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize