is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize