Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
