he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
