Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
