So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
