this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize