you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
