He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
sex in a hospital.. check
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
