You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
