dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
