We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
