Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
