We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
