covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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