Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Acid is not a monday night drug
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
