if you like me you must not know who I am
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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