went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
This is the high leading the old right now
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
