you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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